A Softer, Sadder Feeling

My pillowcase feels extra soft tonight. I am wondering why that is. Is it because of the detergent I washed it with? Because of the other things I washed with it? Or do I just need it to feel soft tonight, so it does?

I am heading to North Carolina on Saturday. My mom went out there about a week ago to stay with my grandparents for a month. My grandfather needed to have surgery because of a hernia that he got from helping my grandmother who had a stroke a while back. While my mom has been there the last week, my grandmother had another small stroke, and is now back in a nursing home. Then 2 days ago, as my grandfather is recovering from surgery (decently well I might add) he had a stroke. I call them Nany and Pop. And they are two of the best people I have ever known. They have made me love more, care more, be more aware of myself and how I am treated by others, and how I treat other people. They have made me a better person. I am so grateful for all of that. I hope I can be that for someone someday. I am sad.

I am glad my pillowcase feels so soft tonight. I need it.

Do good...Every single day

This blog was actually started a few days ago…On MLK day to be exact. But over the last few days I have felt completely drained for a few reasons, so couldn’t get my head back into the mode I was in when I first started writing it. I was so fired up and excited when I started it. Actually started by taking notes on my Blackberry at the gym so I didn’t forget all of my thoughts.

This year was the first year I really FELT what “Martin Luther King Day” was all about. And obviously not because I know what it feels like to be black and be discriminated against, but I think it was more because of some of the work I do now. I was watching Oprah and if you know me, you know I raved about this episode. On the show, people kept talking about the change they have seen in life…Going from having to sit on the back of the bus to being elected to the Presidency. In a video that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher made, one of the black celebrities (for the life of me I can’t remember who it was) said “I pledge to consider myself an American. Not an African American.” That quote alone said exactly what progress has been made. It takes away a label. It takes away a dividing factor between one American of one color and an American of another. If you haven’t seen the video, I HIGHLY recommend it you view it here.

In regards to MLK day touching me in relation to the work that I do, many of those same types of discriminatory behavior existed/do exists for women. I am lucky to have not experienced them myself – or at least know that I have experienced them… But I think about many of the women that I talk to at work and they are still being objectified. Thinking about that on a global scale is scary. There is a reason so many people want to come to America. We are far from perfect, but even in this horrible economic time, the U.S. definitely has more opportunity and freedom that any other place you could live.

I have been looking recently into volunteer projects – specifically in Cambodia and Vietnam, working with organizations to reduce the human trafficking problem that exists in these countries (and all over the world). The woman that are in these circles have no rights, no choices, and are given no respect as a human being. I spoke with a woman a couple of months ago who had come to the U.S. from Vietnam and when we got off the phone she was crying… Now this is NOT the way my conversations are supposed to go… My clients tend to be crying at the beginning of the conversation and by the end, they feel better. This woman started crying though and thanked me. She said I was the first person in years that had spoken to her like she was a human being. I think if that had been my situation I would have cried too.

I felt proud on January 19th. I was proud to be a woman. I was proud to do the work that I do. I was proud that other Americans seem to be so inspired by our new President. I hope that feeling that so many people seem to have at the moment about giving back to their community doesn’t go away. It’s a frame of mind. It’s something you constantly have in your heart to do. If it’s something that you just decide to do a couple of days out of the year…well, that only does so much.

An excellent quote along those lines was brought up on that Oprah episode.

“We are what we repeatedly do.” – Aristotle

Chocolate Frosted Christmas Lights

Just last night I was driving home and laughing to myself about how many houses still had their Christmas lights on. Everywhere else I have ever lived, once January 1st is here, the lights come down. Not in San Diego! I wondered how long this was going to last until I was driving home from work tonight and noticed that there were a lot of dark houses. I didn’t see one house with holiday lights on. Obviously in San Diego, January 9th is the date. I must admit, I loved the extra week and a half of glittery paths lighting my way home.

2009 has been good to me so far. I have been catching myself smiling a lot and feeling very content. Nothing much has changed except maybe that I have found a few new interests that have consumed my mind (and have kept me up way too late many night). Over the holidays I worked a lot at the hotline and really felt like I did some good. Favorite client of 2009 (so far) has to be the one who when we were hanging up said, “Julie….Thank you! You have no idea how helpful you have been. Tell your boss that…that…that you deserve a cake!” That one made us both laugh. Maybe I will have to treat myself to a little chocolate frosting soon.