Cheerleading is No Longer Just for Sports

I miss my blog. It’s been a long time since I have taken the time to write but for some reason, I am feeling the need to circle back here. Trust me when I say there are a zillion other things I should be writing at the moment, from papers to midterm notes to presentation slides. I have always had a hard time separating writing and reading into pleasure and work. I figure if I am reading, it should be something work or school related. And this is aside from the fact that I can watch an entire movie and not blink an eye. Point is, I miss this. It did something for me. Maybe it does more for me when I look back and read what thoughts I had in the past. I like being able to reflect on a past state of mind, a past heartache, a past epiphany.

It’s amazing to me how quickly life can change. That can be a wonderful thing when you are not 100% pleased with where you are in the world. But it can also be disastrous when you think that things couldn’t get any better. Luckily I am not in either of those two places at the moment, so I am looking forward to those random life transformations lurking around the next corner. Life is good though. LA is starting to feel a little more like home every day. I am starting to develop a few friendships here and there, although I must admit, it is harder here then anywhere I else I have lived, to meet new people. It’s nice having people around that make you feel like you.

If you haven’t seen the movie “500 Days of Summer” go see it. It’s probably on my top 5 list now. It made me appreciate those people in my life that I feel more like myself when I am with them, then I do when I am alone - those people that bring out the essence of what you love about yourself. But above all else it made me appreciate unrequited love. A few months ago I opened up to someone and told them about how they make me feel that way and how I felt like I needed more people like them in my life. I had felt that way about them for years before I told them - when I didn’t know them as well - and I still am finding myself feeling that same way, years later. It was heartbreaking to find out the feeling wasn’t really mutual. This movie made me appreciate that at least I find people like that, and if that feeling wasn't reciprocated, that doesn’t have to be the worst thing. I have learned over the years that I am able give that feeling to myself - and I feel it more and more every day.

It’s like cheerleading. In fact, I may change my title at work from Case Manager to Cheerleader. Work is really good and I have been feeling almost like a proud mom lately, or at least what I think a proud mom would feel like. I have clients that are just learning how to write. And they can do more than they expressed that they could, but didn't have the confidence. They never had the encouragement. I have clients that will finally be able to get a job because someone in this world said to them, “You can do this. I believe in you and will back you up”. I can’t imagine what I would do if I didn’t have someone to say those things to me. My parents do this for me. My grandfather does this for me. Lindsey and David do this for me. They are my cheerleaders in life. The fact that sometimes I am the only cheerleader for my clients, for someone I hardly know, makes me sad. But I am glad I can be there to shake my pom-poms for them.